22 9 / 2014

My wine glass is empty but if I move I’ll disturb the cat. Someone come help. #CrazyCatLady #wino

My wine glass is empty but if I move I’ll disturb the cat. Someone come help. #CrazyCatLady #wino

22 9 / 2014

siderealscion:

mALEFISHIENT, MARK

ive been meaning to make work-related comics forever, so enjoy some choice movie title bastardizations.

(these all actually, seriously, happened, with no humor or awareness on the part of the customer at the time as far as I could tell. so, yes, someone actually asked for a ticket to “Detergent” with a straight face.)

This is pure gold

(via thefrogman)

22 9 / 2014

thugkitchen:

Asparagus is a solid stand-alone veggie with all its vitamin K and folate but paired with this creamy risotto? HOT DAMN. It takes this spring staple to another level. 

SPRING ASPARAGUS RISOTTO


Enough for 4 people


2 tablespoons olive oil

1/3 cup chopped shallots or yellow onion

3 cloves garlic, minced

1 cup Arborio rice*

½ cup white wine

¼ teaspoon salt

4 ½ cups vegetable broth

1 bunch asparagus, about 1 pound

½ teaspoon lemon zest

1 teaspoon olive oil

¼ cup minced chives

pepper to taste


Warm up the veggie broth in a medium pot until it gently simmers then turn off the heat. Chop up the shallots, garlic, and asparagus. You’ll want the asparagus in pieces about an inch long, like bite-sized. Cut off the tough ends because those woody sons of bitches will ruin everything. 


In a large skillet or pot with a wide bottom, heat up the 2 tablespoons of oil over a medium heat. Add the shallots and sauté them around until they start to look kinda golden, about 2-3 minutes. Add the garlic and rice and sauté until the rice smells toasted and starts looking like it absorbed some of the oil, about 2 more minutes. This helps make your risotto all creamy SO DON’T SKIP THIS SHIT. Add the white wine and salt to the pot and cook until most of the wine has evaporated and you scraped whatever bits of shallot got stuck to the bottom of the pot, like a minute or 2. Drink the rest wine because… well, that shits already open. Might as well.


Now add 2 cups of the warm broth, stir, and lower the heat so that the pot is at a simmer, uncovered. Stir every couple of minutes until most of the broth has absorbed into the rice, about 7-10 minutes. You don’t need to stand there and stir it the whole fucking time; whoever started that rumor about cooking risotto is a goddamn liar. Just stir it every minute or two while you clean up or troll the internet. Add another 2 cups of warm broth at this point, and do that whole stir and simmer thing again for another 7 minutes or until the rice tastes slightly undercooked and there’s still broth in the pot. Now dump in the asparagus and cook until it’s tender and the rice looks like its sitting in a creamy gravy, about 5 more minutes. If it starts looking a little dry before everything is tender, just add some more of the broth a tablespoon at a time to fix that shit. 


When the rice and asparagus taste on point, turn off the heat; add the lemon zest, remaining oil, half the chives, and a little pepper. Taste and add more salt, pepper, or whateverthefuck you want. Serve right away and top with the remaining chives. 

 

* This kind of rice is starchy as hell, so it will make your risotto the extra creamy and delicious. If you can’t find it don’t worry about it, just grab a short grain rice.

Made this for dinner tonight and it was fucking delicious. I spent $10 on rice, an onion and asparagus, and expect to get 4 meals out of it. Even ignoring the leftover rice (probably 2-3 more meals’ worth) and half onion, at $2.50 per meal, that’s pretty good!Guys. Preorder their cookbook!

thugkitchen:

Asparagus is a solid stand-alone veggie with all its vitamin K and folate but paired with this creamy risotto? HOT DAMN. It takes this spring staple to another level.

SPRING ASPARAGUS RISOTTO

Enough for 4 people

2 tablespoons olive oil

1/3 cup chopped shallots or yellow onion

3 cloves garlic, minced

1 cup Arborio rice*

½ cup white wine

¼ teaspoon salt

4 ½ cups vegetable broth

1 bunch asparagus, about 1 pound

½ teaspoon lemon zest

1 teaspoon olive oil

¼ cup minced chives

pepper to taste

Warm up the veggie broth in a medium pot until it gently simmers then turn off the heat. Chop up the shallots, garlic, and asparagus. You’ll want the asparagus in pieces about an inch long, like bite-sized. Cut off the tough ends because those woody sons of bitches will ruin everything.

In a large skillet or pot with a wide bottom, heat up the 2 tablespoons of oil over a medium heat. Add the shallots and sauté them around until they start to look kinda golden, about 2-3 minutes. Add the garlic and rice and sauté until the rice smells toasted and starts looking like it absorbed some of the oil, about 2 more minutes. This helps make your risotto all creamy SO DON’T SKIP THIS SHIT. Add the white wine and salt to the pot and cook until most of the wine has evaporated and you scraped whatever bits of shallot got stuck to the bottom of the pot, like a minute or 2. Drink the rest wine because… well, that shits already open. Might as well.

Now add 2 cups of the warm broth, stir, and lower the heat so that the pot is at a simmer, uncovered. Stir every couple of minutes until most of the broth has absorbed into the rice, about 7-10 minutes. You don’t need to stand there and stir it the whole fucking time; whoever started that rumor about cooking risotto is a goddamn liar. Just stir it every minute or two while you clean up or troll the internet. Add another 2 cups of warm broth at this point, and do that whole stir and simmer thing again for another 7 minutes or until the rice tastes slightly undercooked and there’s still broth in the pot. Now dump in the asparagus and cook until it’s tender and the rice looks like its sitting in a creamy gravy, about 5 more minutes. If it starts looking a little dry before everything is tender, just add some more of the broth a tablespoon at a time to fix that shit.

When the rice and asparagus taste on point, turn off the heat; add the lemon zest, remaining oil, half the chives, and a little pepper. Taste and add more salt, pepper, or whateverthefuck you want. Serve right away and top with the remaining chives.

 

* This kind of rice is starchy as hell, so it will make your risotto the extra creamy and delicious. If you can’t find it don’t worry about it, just grab a short grain rice.

Made this for dinner tonight and it was fucking delicious. I spent $10 on rice, an onion and asparagus, and expect to get 4 meals out of it. Even ignoring the leftover rice (probably 2-3 more meals’ worth) and half onion, at $2.50 per meal, that’s pretty good!

Guys. Preorder their cookbook!

22 9 / 2014

"The frightening thing is that, like most of their other campaigns against women, they see themselves as just warriors fighting for what’s right. This is primarily because they firmly believe that any woman who speaks up on women’s issues is completely disingenuous and only doing it for the purposes of self-promotion, and that any man who does is looking to get laid, because they actually cannot possibly imagine a scenario in which someone would genuinely give a shit about women.
 
Members of this board, as well as “Men’s Rights Activists” in general, tend to go apoplectic at even the most mild implications that women might be human beings. For them, this is simply “not allowed” and must be punished swiftly and severely, as they appear to believe that feminism is the one obstacle in the way of all these pathetic neckbeards getting their pick of supermodel girlfriends who obey their every whim. The goal is to make it as uncomfortable to speak out about misogyny and women’s issues as possible, which is why they go to the wall in terms of harassing women like Emma Watson. At the end of the day, this is the crux of it. It would be sad if it weren’t so vile."

Emma Watson threatened with nude photo leak over UN speech on gender equality

Because of course she was.

(via wilwheaton)

Fucking Christ, what will it take to make this stop?

(via wilwheaton)

22 9 / 2014

sp0oky-box-forts:

One fire pit to rule them all

Yes please I will take one

(via dahbahtman)

21 9 / 2014

18 dozen cookies (one tested for quality control) #cookies #family #baking #love

18 dozen cookies (one tested for quality control) #cookies #family #baking #love

21 9 / 2014

A special additive for our last few dozen #boozybaker #maple #cookies #family #love

21 9 / 2014

He has a method, guys. #perfectionist #genetics #family #love #baking @starwarsbuff

21 9 / 2014

Cookies at Casa O’Donnell today #cookies #family #baking #love

Cookies at Casa O’Donnell today #cookies #family #baking #love

20 9 / 2014